Page 223 - Under the Cover of Darkness

standing daily charge, For nothing. If Off-gem think it’s
OK it's got to be fine.

30 July 2013 —
"What will happen if I don't pay?"
"We'll take very strong action."
"What will that consist of?"
"Sending you regular letters"
Mmmmm, looks like I might be the World's first person
ever to be minorly inconvenienced to death!

31 July 2013 —
This morning I awoke to the sound of my wardrobe
collapsing into a heap. I now have a jumble sale under
some sheets of ply wood and a loose metal rail in my
bedroom. Class.
Also had a LETTER from Parcel Farce saying the parcel I
sent via their "Express 1 day delivery" service almost a
week ago (for £133!) still hasn't been delivered because
they need to know: MY NAME (FFS?!) If I painted the
picture (why?) And what day I sent it? (gimme a break!) I
know they're not claiming to be a detective agency but I'd
have thought they could just about deduce my name and
what day I sent the parcel based on the fact they know
my name and have a record of what day I sent the parcel.
Also, call me progressive but wouldn't it have been more
"express" to have contacted me via phone or email. Just
throwing that out there!

31 July 2013 —
So it’s only early afternoon and I've already sustained 3
injuries!