Page 222 - The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts

almost two thousand years ago, might be the direction that
Ann was looking for, but could she do it? Could anyone do
it? Is it possible to love a spouse who has become your
enemy? Is it possible to love one who has cursed you,
mistreated you, and expressed feelings of contempt and
hate for you? And if she could, would there be any
payback? Would her husband ever change and begin to
express love and care for her? I was astounded by this
further word from Jesus’ ancient sermon: “Give, and it will
be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken
together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For
with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” 2
Could that ancient principle of loving an unlovely
person possibly work in a marriage as far gone as Ann’s? I
decided to do an experiment. I would take as my
hypothesis that if Ann could learn her husband’s primary
love language and speak it for a period of time so that his
emotional need for love was met, eventually he would
reciprocate and begin to express love to her. I wondered,
Would it work?
I met with Ann the next week and listened again as she
reviewed the horrors of her marriage. At the end of her
synopsis, she repeated the question she had asked in
Reynolda Gardens. This time she put it in the form of a
statement: “Dr. Chapman, I just don’t know if I can ever love
him again after all he has done to me.”
“Have you talked about your situation with any of your
friends?” I asked.