Page 79 - my SUCCESS! my CHOICE

Deepak Gupta my SUCCESS! my CHOICE
- 78 -

one orange each, was mutually impossible because only one orange was available, that one

orange could have fully met their needs.”

Dan was sitting wide eyed admiring the simplicity yet the power of the example.

Ron continued, “This is what normally happens. We attempt to find a compromise based

on ‘wants’ without trying to understand the ‘needs’. Many conflicts can be avoided, and

compromises optimized if only we spend effort to understand the need, which could be

common. Eli Goldratt, the famous Israeli author, calls it the Common Ground Model.”

Dan had begun to think of his conflicts with Jonathan. ‘I should evaluate the big ones to see if we

too were caught up in wants without understanding the needs?’

“Ron this is certainly powerful but rather simplistic. What about the conflicts that are

beyond the want/need problem?”

“You are right Dan. Many conflicts can get resolved by understanding the need, but often

even the needs can be mutually impossible. The world of external conflicts is rather complex

because our ‘ego’ fuels it. You can read all philosophical texts for ego description, but for me,

it is rather simple. Our ego is what drives us towards a ‘Win-Lose’ solution and most often

lands us in Lose-Lose conflict.”

“So, what may be the solution Dan if even the needs are mutually impossible?”

“I think compromise is the only solution then,” responded Dan.

“True. The Conflict Square will help us understand this better.” Ron walked to the white

board and drew a picture