Page 75 - my SUCCESS! my CHOICE

Deepak Gupta my SUCCESS! my CHOICE
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“As you may have heard Dan, our life is defined not by what is thrown at us, but by how

we respond to it.” Ron paused, “Instant reaction may indulge our ego but will most likely

cause retrospection. Once we ‘think’, we begin to wonder did I respond right?”

Dan had moved into his own world. ‘Internal conflict has caused me numerous hours of retrospective

agony – Should not have done that or said that? what if I had done this or that?’

Being aware that Ron’s was looking at him, he pulled himself back and found his voice,

“Yes Ron, this has been a cause of concern for me. I often retrospect and wonder were my

actions and/or words appropriate? Could I have done something different? What if I had done

or said this or that? It is very draining!”

Ron was listening intently. He gently nodded in agreement when Dan finished and

observed, “It is instinctive to wonder if I could have responded in a better way; this is

assessment. The challenge, however, is in learning to prevent inconsequential retrospection.

Assessment and retrospection have commonality, yet are different – they review the same

situation, but assessment focuses on how I could have been more effective; retrospection cries

over spilt milk with frustrating ‘what if’ replays. I will explain this in more detail later.” Ron

paused again allowing it to sink in.

Ron could sense that Dan is thinking hard. “What do you think is the solution Dan?”

Dan stayed quiet for a while, thinking, and then added, “The only solution could be what

we discussed earlier. We had identified ‘Feel and Think’ as the first step of effective

communication; our action too is a form of communication and Feel & Think first should