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alright to be uncomfortable. However, don’t allow that discomfort to get
you into negative thinking about the other person. That compromises your
effectiveness as a listener.

One should also listen without jumping to conclusions and anticipating

what a person is trying to say. Remember that the speaker is using
language to represent the thoughts and feelings inside his/her mind. You
don’t know what those thoughts and feelings are, and the only way you’ll
find out is by listening.

Step 4: Listen to the words and try to picture what the speaker is saying.

Allow your mind to create a mental model or picture of the information
being communicated. When listening for long stretches at a time, focus on
key words and phrases. This will reduce possible boredom and help keep
your mind from wandering.

When it’s your turn to listen, don’t spend the time planning what to say
next. You can’t rehearse and listen at the same time. Think only about what
the other person is saying. Look for points of agreement that can facilitate
a mutual understanding.

Step 5: Don’t interrupt

Don’t be a sentence-grabber. Occasionally we might find ourselves
interrupting and finishing the other person’s sentences. This often distracts
you from what the other person is trying to communicate, because you are
injecting your own train of thought and not learning where the other
person’s thoughts are headed. Unfortunately, as we watch talk shows and
reality programs we see many examples of aggressive interruptions being

condoned rather than polite dialogue.

Interrupting sends a variety of messages. It says:

• “I’m more important than you are.”
• “What I have to say is more interesting, accurate, or relevant.”
• “I don’t really care what you think.”
• “I don’t have time for your opinion.”

• “This isn’t a conversation, it’s a contest, and I’m going to win.”

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