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possible.
Nonverbal cues by themselves are easy to misread. However, they can
become particularly meaningful if they are part of a cluster and indicate the
thinking of the speaker or the response of the listener. Cues as part of a
pattern can furnish feedback concerning how you are progressing toward
getting your message across. For example, the speaker may be frowning
because he has a headache, while you may think he is displeased with
something you said. Nonverbal messages must be interpreted in a total
context.
When verbal and nonverbal messages contradict, people tend to believe the
nonverbal ones. If you want to send messages effectively, be sure your
verbal and nonverbal behaviors are consistent. A person who says, “Oh
no, I’m not upset,” but cannot sit still and whose fingers tap nervously on
the table sends contradictory messages.
Clearly, nonverbal cues can improve or obstruct the listening process. An
open cue shows a receptive listener, and a closed cue shows a poor listener.
Figure 9 showcases the difference between them under differing
circumstances.
Figure 9: Open vs. Closed Cues
NONVERBAL OPEN CUE CLOSED CUE
CLUE
Tone of Voice Soft tone or a soft sigh Hard tone or a hard sigh
Facial Face unobstructed with eyes Hands mask face, chin, and mouth
Expressions observing the other’s face; with eyes on ceiling or floor;
Smiles, smacks lips, or licks Poker face, frowns, tight lips,
open mouth; clenches teeth, rubs nose;
Appears interested Appears disinterested
David Kolzow 143

