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The dead kangaroo story
In 1987 the world's best sailors were
competing in the America's Cup yacht
race off the coast of Fremantle, in Western
Australia. One day, one of the sailors went
for a drive in the outback and accidentally
ran over a kangaroo. The sailor got out and
leaned the dead kangaroo against the side of
the car. Then he decided to put his America's
Cup team jacket on the animal and take a
few pictures to show his friends. However, it
turned out that the accident hadn't killed the
animal, it had only knocked it out. While the
sailor was taking some photos, the kangaroo
came round. Realising that something was
wrong, the animal immediately ran away -
taking the sailor's jacket, his passport, three
credit cards and $1,000 in cash with it.
The cigar story
A man from North Carolina had been
searching for a special make of cigar and
eventually he bought a box of 24. He insured
them against theft, fire and water damage.
Within a month the man had smoked all
of them. He then made an insurance claim
saying he had lost the cigars in a series
of small fires. The insurance company
refused to pay - knowing the man had
obviously smoked the cigars. The man
sued the insurance company and won. The
judge ruled that because the insurers had
not specified what kind of fire would be
unacceptable, the man's claim was valid. The
insurance company paid the man $15,000.
But the man didn't get away with it. After
he cashed his cheque the insurance company
told the police what had happened and the
man was arrested on 24 counts of arson. He
was fined $24,000 and faced a 24-month
prison sentence.
The exploding house story
A woman from California had been trying to
get rid of all the bugs in her home for years,
but without success. Then, in December
2001, she bought nineteen 'bug bombs',
which are designed to spread insecticide over
a wide area. She put all the bug bombs in
her house, but unfortunately she hadn't read
the instructions, which warned that no more
than one bomb should be used at any one
time, and they should never be used indoors.
All nineteen bug bombs went off at the same
time, completely destroying the building and
causing over $150,000 worth of damage.
A number of bugs were also hurt.
34
The man had /dd/ been / bm/ searching for
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a specia ma e o cigar.
He an insmance c1: im he'd
the
• • • •
The man hadn't killed the kangaroo.
A had / dd/ been /bm/ trfing to get
•
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rid of all the bugs for years.
She hadn't read the
35
OWEN So yes, I got two new clients, so it
was a pretty successful trip. By the way,
how was your trip to Poland?
GILLIAN Fine, once I got there.
0 What do you mean - once you got there?
Did you miss the flight?
G No. Actually, I got to Heathrow in plenty
of time because it was such an important
meeting. I even did a bit of shopping, had
a bite to eat and when I'd finished that,
the departure gate still wasn't up on the
screen. So I took out my iPad and started
going through my emails. There were
loads of them. Anyway, I just didn't hear
them call my flight.
0 But you didn't miss the plane.
G No, but I almost wish I had.
0 Why?
G Well, suddenly I heard - "This is the last
call for Ms Gillian Cook. Please proceed
to gate 25 immediately", and gate 25 was
miles away. Meanwhile, everyone else
was sitting on the plane waiting for me!
0 So, they were holding the plane for you?
G I guess so. Anyway when I got to the gate,
there was no one there, not even anyone
from the airline.
0 Really? Nobody at all?
www.english0905.com
G No. So I went through and there were
two possible directions - one down some
stairs and one along a corridor. I went
down the stairs and found myself on the
tarmac and there was a small set of steps
going up to the plane. I thought they
seemed too small considering the size of
the plane - but anyway I was panicking
by then.
0 I bet you were.
G Yeah well, I just started to go up the steps
even though I'd noticed the door at the
top was closed. How stupid can you get,
honestly! Anyway, I suddenly heard sirens
from all directions. And before I knew
it I was surrounded by security guards
pointing guns at me.
0 What?!
G Yes, I know. Apparently I was trying to
get in the door that ground crew use.
0 I've never noticed a separate door.
G A.ccording to my dad, who knows about
these things, it's the door the ground crew
use when they need to check things with
the pilots. They don't have to keep going
in through the terminal.
0 Oh, I see. Anyway, what happened?
G Well, I was trying to make a joke of it
with the security guards.
0 They're not known for their sense of
humour.
G You're not kidding! I thought they were
going to arrest me. I really did. I was
terrified.
0 Did you get arrested?
G No, luckily, they let me off with a
warning. Then they marched me onto the
plane and handed me over to the flight
attendants.
0 How embarrassing!
G Yeah, it was. Everyone was staring at me.
And in the end, to make things worse -
the pilot announced that due to the delay
(i.e. me) we had missed our slot and we
had to wait for another 45 minutes before
we could take off.
0 Oh dear! So all in all you weren't the
most popular passenger on the flight!
[No!] Anyway, how was the meeting
with ...
fJl·B•>4 as
MARTIN Hi, I'm home. [Hi] Have you had
a good day?
JUDY No, not really. Actually, it's been a bit
of a nightmare.
M Oh dear. What's happened?
] Well, first I waited in all morning for the
new TV to be delivered, but they never
turned up.
M Oh, I don't believe it! Hadn't they
promised to be here today?
] Yeah, but I'm not surprised, to be honest.
They'd already changed the date of the
delivery twice. They're so disorganised.
I was pretty angry, though.
M Yeah, I bet you were.
] Anyway, I called them and they said
they'd definitely be here next Wednesday.
M Next Wednesday? You must be joking!
J That's, er, that's the earliest they could
do, they said. I told them if they didn't
turn up next time, I'd cancel the order.
M Quite right too. That TV cost a fortune!
] And then, um, well, my laptop crashed
while I was on the internet. I think it's got
a virus.
M Didn't you install that anti-virus
software?
] Um, well, not exactly, no.
M Well, no wonder you've got a virus. I'll
have a look at it later, if you like.
J Thanks. What else? Oh, I got a call from
Jack's teacher.
M Oh no, not again! What did he do this
time?
] He was, um, he was caught fighting
during the break.
M You're kidding! Oh, that boy drives me
crazy sometimes. I keep telling him to
stay out of trouble. Why on earth doesn't
he listen to me?
J He said that the other boy started it.
M Well, he would say that, wouldn't he?
J He could be telling the truth, of course.
M Yes, perhaps. I'll go and talk to him in a
bit. Where is he?
] In his room. Oh, there was one piece of
good news. Eddy called.
M You mean your brother Eddy?
J Yes. Guess what? He's going to Gstaad
in Switzerland.