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However, because of this lightning speed I couldn’t stop
or shoot or pass and always ended up either falling over,
kicking the ball way over the crossbar and instead of
crossing the ball to another person, it inevitably landed
like a lead balloon inside the drinks bar across the road.

So I decided then that I was more suited as a defender.
But I didn’t really like it as the attackers always got the

glory. I eventually found out that a winger could be the
answer, but the problem still existed that I was better at
crossing the road than crossing the ball.

Can you remember an old comic book called The Beano?
There was a guy called Billy the Whizz who ran so fast he
was just a blur and a big Scottish footballer called Hot
Shot Hamish with legs and arms like tree trunks, known

for his explosive hot shot that flew so hard it would rip
the back of the net and break the goalposts.

I always thought I was a mixture of Billy the Whizz and
Hot Shot Hamish as there was always that random
chance I would run past 7 people and shoot the ball from
outside the box into the bloody roof of the net.

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