Page 330 - The Truth Landscape Format 2020 1st Draft 19_01_2020

Outrageous isn’t it? Well, that’s what you are believing if you think that one true love can satisfy your every need.

And the sad truth is that many relationships are marred by one or both partners feeling disappointment with the other, after unconsciously expecting them to
deliver on their unrealistic expectations. By unconscious, I mean that you may not even have verbalised your needs to yourself let alone to your partner, and
yet resentment builds when they are not satisfied.

Belief in this particular piece of fiction sets your partner up to fail, to disappoint you before they have even been given a chance.

FACT: Many of our needs cannot and should not be fulfilled by our partner. We all need the variety of other people and indeed the strength of our own
resources to meet some of our needs.

FACT: An otherwise good relationship may falter because you may resent your partner for failing to fulfil a need you should be fulfilling yourself or with the
help of others.

FACT: If you feel emotionally empty in a part of your relationship, it may not be the responsibility, or within the ability of your partner to fulfil that emptiness.
A partner may fulfil some of your needs, but never all of them.

FACT: Perpetuation of this belief places immense and unreasonable pressure on your partner to be everything to you.

We are not talking here about basic relationship needs of love, affection and friendship, but there are needs better fulfilled by friends, relatives and
acquaintances.

IT’S GREAT SEX ~ IT MUST BE TRUE LOVE

Have you ever told yourself you were madly in love, and later realised it wasn’t love, but lust? Have you had a relationship when the time you spent in bed
was when you were most compatible?

If you have good sex it does not always mean you are truly in love with them, it certainly doesn’t necessarily mean you were meant to be together and it doesn’t
necessarily mean you have a good relationship. It does mean that you have good sexual chemistry and that one or both of you are skilled lovers. It might also
mean that you have a strong physical attraction that can be the basis for a healthy, whole relationship, if you are compatible in other important areas.

Belief that good or great sex must mean true love can set us up for disastrous consequences if we fail to take all other aspects of compatibility into account. Page330