Page 326 - The Truth Landscape Format 2020 1st Draft 19_01_2020

WILL IT LAST?

The feelings of passionate love, do lose their strength over time.

The chemicals responsible, (adrenaline, dopamine, norepinephrine, phenylethylamine, etc.) dwindle. Suddenly your lover has faults. Why has he or she
changed, you may wonder. Actually, your partner probably hasn't changed at all, it's just that you're now able to see him or her rationally, rather than through
the blinding hormones of infatuation and passionate love. At this stage, the relationship is either strong enough to endure, or the relationship fades.

If the relationship can advance, then other chemicals kick in. Endorphins, for example, are still providing a sense of well-being and security. Additionally,
oxytocin is still released when you're physically close and vasopressin continues to play a role in attachment.

The Definition of "True Love"

When asked to define what true love is, even the experts have to pause and think. Perhaps it's because true love has different meanings for different people.
True love can be defined as caring about the health, well-being and happiness of another person. True love is when you carefully consider your words, thoughts
and actions, and specifically how they will benefit that other person.

True love is when you care enough for another person to allow them the space and time they need to become all they can be. If someone says to you: "If you
love me, you would …," that is not love, this is control. True love is easily recognised as unconditional support. True love occurs when you shift from
unconscious commitment to conscious commitment. When you hear people say: 'Relationships are really hard work,' this is an expression of unconscious
commitment," Conscious commitment, means that you reveal your true self to your partner and support your partner through thick and thin.

All love comes from an open heart. When you're together, it's open and safe at the same time. This doesn't mean the person you love is necessarily your life
partner. So how do you know if you're in a lasting relationship? Here are a few pointers:

1. You feel good. A good relationship makes you feel good about yourself.
2. You look forward to spending time with your partner. You don't need to be with other people, spend lavishly, or go to events to avoid being alone
together. You enjoy spending quality time together even when it's quiet.
3. You respect your partner. You hear yourself bragging about your partner. You say things like: "My wife is a really talented designer”. If you find
that you're always talking about yourself, or your children, you're not focused on your partner or the relationship.
4. You're interested in what your partner thinks. You ask your partner's opinion about issues that are important to you. If he or she disagrees with you,
you genuinely don’t mind.
5. You accept your partner's quirks. Everyone has them. If your partner's quirks are endearing or tolerable, you're in good shape. If they really bother
Page326
you, you should look more closely at the relationship.