Page 418 - Under the Cover of Darkness

livid, red rash so sore its throbbing n I can’t even bare to
have clothes on my skin and it’s so bad on my legs its
painful to walk. I’m sick of looking horrible as well. As if
losing my hair and my boob and gaining weight wasn’t
enough this rash looks so gross. It’s all just making me
feel horrid! Aaargh! Sorry to rant. I’m sure there are
people way worse off than me.

17 December 2015 —
FANTASY vs REALTY;
I picture myself having lovely days making handmade
Christmas Cards & Gift Wrap and cosy evening wrapping
the gifts beautifully in bespoke paper - All the paper,
ribbons & embellishments laid out neatly to work from -
curling ribbons and adding doilies and sprigs of Winter
foliage to the parcels, popping glitter and confetti and
fairy tale surprises into the children’s packages and
making a card especially to the style of each recipient
while I sip wine and listen to Christmas music. A cosy,
thoughtful session of Christmas creativity. . . .
....in reality the air is blue with curse words & my feet are
blue with bruises cos I’m so over run with bags n boxes
that I’m constantly tripping over and stubbing my toes.
You can’t really hear the Xmas songs for my screaming n
swearing every time I burn my fingers with the glue gun
or get a bit of sellotape stuck to me lip!
I’ve got glitter in my hair, paint on my face, and pen on my
fingers n bits of tape stuck to my arse!
Every time a tie up a parcel or stick down an envelope I
have an attack of paranoia that I’ve got peoples name
wrong or assigned the wrong husband to the wrong
friend or the wrong kid to the wrong Mom....