Page 230 - The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts

sexual intercourse at least once a week the first two weeks
and twice a week the following two weeks.” Ann had told
me that she and Glenn had had sexual intercourse only
once or twice in the past six months. I figured this plan
would get things off dead center rather quickly.
“Oh, Dr. Chapman, this is going to be difficult,” Ann
said. “I have found it hard to be sexually responsive to him
when he ignores me all the time. I have felt used rather than
loved in our sexual encounters. He acts as though I am
totally unimportant all the rest of the time and then wants to
jump in bed and use my body. I have resented that, and I
guess that’s why we have not had sex very often in the last
few years.”
“Your response has been natural and normal,” I
assured Ann. “For most wives, the desire to be sexually
intimate with their husbands grows out of a sense of being
loved by their husbands. If they feel loved, then they desire
sexual intimacy. If they do not feel loved, they likely feel
used in the sexual context. That is why loving someone who
is not loving you is extremely difficult. It goes against our
natural tendencies. You will probably have to rely heavily
upon your faith in God in order to do this. Perhaps it will
help if you read again Jesus’ sermon on loving your
enemies, loving those who hate you, loving those who use
you. And then ask God to help you practice the teachings of
Jesus.”
I could tell that Ann was following what I was saying.
Her head was nodding ever so slightly. Her eyes told me