Page 11 - Kingdom News Edition 3

Low Self Esteem – The Silent Killer

I There I was, go-
suffered from low self-esteem for over 40 years
of my life. No one knew, but it almost killed me.
ing through life
As a child, I had a unique look that made me
operating in bro-
stand out from the rest of the people in my com-
munity. My look subjected me to comments that kenness and in a
hidden state of
came across as negative in the mind of a little boy. depression. But
This was the onset of a poor self-image. This poor one day, I remem-
self-image ultimately led to choices for validation and ber so clearly as I
positive self-worth. was ministering
that I heard the
In God’s Presence is the fullness of joy. (Psalm
16:11). Being God conscious is what keeps us fo- voice of the Lord
cused, purpose driven and at peace with who God cre- speak to me, “you
ated us to be. However, the thief comes to steal, kill have to stop min-
and to destroy (John 10:10). One of the tactics that istering out of brokenness and begin to minister out
the enemy uses to snatch us out of the Presence of of wholeness.” Me? Broken? I didn’t realize that I
God is to make us self-conscious. To leave the Pres- was broken. As I yielded to the voice of the Lord,
ence of God is an immediate spiritual death. God took me on a spiritual journey of my life and
showed me, ME! Not only did he show me the hurt
Even though I grew up in church and worked in the and pain that others had inflicted upon me, but I
church, I was well aware of my flaws, or what I saw the hurt and pain that I had caused others. For-
thought were flaws based on how others caused me to giveness was the key to my healing and learning to
feel about myself. Because I “thought” I was flawed, see what God sees in me is what changed my life. I
there was a need to prove myself valuable. My poor had to forgive others as well as be forgiven. Then
self-image led to me over working myself because I God showed me that the very things that I thought
couldn’t say “no” to people. I didn’t want anyone to were flaws were actually the unique characteristics
be disappointed in me. The need to please others that would set me apart for my assignment.
grew over the years as low self-esteem became a
greater strong hold in my life. Others being happy It took me over 40 years to finally learn to love my-
with me was a temporary “high” for me, so I was al- self. But by learning to love myself, I learned how
ways ready for my next “fix.” I became over achiev- to love God and to love others. These are the two
ing and very promiscuous. commandments in which Jesus said to hang the
laws of the prophets (Matthew 22:40). So in es-
Many people told me along life’s journey that I was sence, if the enemy can keep me from loving my-
handsome, intelligent and had a great future ahead of self, then I am not loving God and unable to love
me. Others believing that about me did not “cure” me others. I am thankful that God restored me for wor-
of my low self-esteem issue. I needed to believe that ship and that I am able to stand boldly and declare
about myself. Instead, I believed the lies of the enemy the glory and transforming power of God from a
and chose to see the distorted image that he painted of place of wholeness. I have to die daily and allow
me. The lies of the enemy obstructed my view in a my mind to be renewed so that I can maintain my
way that I couldn’t see what God saw in me. state of restoration! Thank God that I have been
RESTORED FOR WORSHIP!■

Kingdom News Magazine—March 2017 Volume 3 ~ Page 11