Page 16 - Kingdom News Edition 3

The Testimony of Sheila Raye

here are many paths I could say I took to get to the place where I'm at today. I
am choosing to share with a very specific path that led me to many places in
my life. Growing up a child of the World-Famous Entertainer, Ray Charles, I
can say it was both a devastating part of my life as well as remembering some
glorious moments. I found it difficult trying to live up to the expectations of what the
world would deem a little girl to be having this huge iconic fa-ther. It may not have
been so bad, but it left a lot to be desired for a child who had no clue who Ray
Charles really was. My father did not play an active role in my life and at a very early
age, I found myself imagining who I might be or who I could become. However, the
reality was I just flat out lied about who I was. This was a much safer place then
looking at my reality and thinking anyone would ever accept me.
As little girl filled with hurt, pain, confusion and abandonment, I wondered what I need-
ed to do to be validated. I did not have a clear understanding of who I was and often
wondered if my father even had a de-sire to be a part of my life. Growing up I had little
to no contact with him. So where did I learn who I was? I wondered for years about this
and exhibited a lifetime of trial and error searching and grasping a hold of things I had
no business being a part of. I found myself spiraling through a 22-year crack cocaine
addiction trying to numb the pain of years of sexual abuse and of feeling abandoned by
my father. In addition to my issues with my father, I also had to watch my mother, the
most powerful woman I knew, dwindle away in her alcoholism.