Page 40 - Sarita Maybin

He Said She Said

Robert Judith A.
Tussey Habert

We’re at a revolutionary time in history. Women Before I say anything more, I want to say thank you to men out there like Bob, who truly
are gaining on every level of life; from the corporate do work on behalf of women, after all, Bob has been an integral part of a women’s magazine
boardroom to the entrepreneurship of business start-ups. for the past ten years. I don’t think any man who didn’t like women and felt they deserved
It’s been a long time coming and a well-deserved place in equal treatment would have lasted that long. Are men like Bob the norm or the exception?
history. And as the old saying goes, women have to do It is tough to say right now, since with all that is going on most men are afraid to even open
twice the work for half the recognition. There are many their mouths, for fear that what they say may be taken as some sort of sexist or chauvinistic
forces (still) at work to thwart this progress, and we all comment. Even, if they are being positive, many women may call them condescending. It is
know their names and faces. Most. Sexual Harassment true that this is a tough climate for a man who isn’t like the ones we hear about every day
has been the hallmark of too much money, power, bloated now on the news.
egos and lack of self-control and conscience. The headlines When did all of this start? Some might say with the Bill Clinton/Monica Lewinski
have been full of these stories with detailed descriptions of scandal. This certainly proved one fact that most women might never have realized, sex
the crimes. As a man, it embarrasses me how men can be is such a major drive in men that they will even go so far as to risk the most prestigious
so stupid as to think that they will go unpunished. On the position, President of the United States, in order to satisfy their sexual appetite. We all know
other hand, this abuse is systemic, unfettered by law and that this type of behavior did not start with the Clinton indiscretions, but has been going on
enforcement. The powerful have always written the rules. longer than most of us are alive. Some will say, men will be men (or was that boys will be
Still, do – if we look at the headlines and read between boys?) and others will say that the press is blowing all of this way out of proportion.
those lines, it’s clear that nothing has changed. Ok, you are probably not going to like what I am about to say, but here goes. I have
There are a lot of good men out there that do not worked the majority of my life in Male-dominated professions, and if I went by the definition
harass women and understand the word ‘no.’ We suffer of what sexual harassment is, I probably could have filed at least two dozen lawsuits, while
at the hands of the insolent idiots who make us all look in these occupations. The thing is, I always felt that if you were going to work in a field that
like fools. We are angry with our brethren, but our voice was primarily men, you could not, or should not expect preferential treatment because you
is masked by the cacophonous railings against all men. were a woman, because didn’t that prove the entire equality thing false. If those around you
Should we have a voice here? I think so. We support our had to change the way they talked or joked or reacted because there was a woman in their
women. We love our women. I see postings on all social presence, then weren’t we making the chasm even greater between men and women? So, the
media calling men scum and worthless slobs. All men. I photographers in the studio at Doubleday Publishing, the Tech Reps at Canon USA, the Repair
have to tread lightly here, as I want to make a statement Techs at Nikon, etc. all talked about their girlfriends and wives, probably as they would have
from a man’s point of view and not sound callous. if I wasn’t around and it was just a bunch of guys having a beer together. Was I offended?
Every societal shift is driven by something wrong that No, as a matter of fact, I learned a lot during those years, and I think I taught them a lot as
needs to be righted. To be fixed - systemically. The women’s well. I helped them understand why women feel the way they do, why they should treat their
movement saw it’s beginning in 1903 with Emmeline significant other with more respect, and in essence how much happier the women in their lives
Pankhurst (There are questions as to whether this was the would make them if they were just a bit more respectful and kind to them. Yes, sometimes I
first of the movement, but it was the first to gain national cringed at the language or was asked seemingly inappropriate questions, but if I didn’t want to
attention). When she founded Women’s Social and answer, or felt uncomfortable, I left the room or excused myself from the conversation.
Political Union, she felt it needed to be radical and militant Now, just to make this clear, I am not talking about physical abuse, or threats of firing
if it was going to be effective. The Daily News named them if I did not cooperate with specific demands. I wholeheartedly agree that there is NEVER a
Suffragettes and the title stuck. And over the succeeding time when that is acceptable! However, if a man is in a wheelchair, and poses for a picture
years, many female faces have come to prominence in the with his arm around you he should not be ridiculed. It is simple logistics that the height of
fight for equality. This was the good fight, but men refused his wheelchair coupled with your height in high heels, might cause his hand to graze your
to accept the challenge and did everything in their power derrière. In my opinion, that is not cause for a lawsuit or public shaming. On the other hand,
to thwart progress. Today, a lot has changed and yet so if a man in power, makes sexual demands upon you in order for you to keep your job, then
much hasn’t. Not enough. Like Emmeline’s husband, you should go directly to the top lawyer in town to make sure that this person of authority
Richard Pankhurst, there have always been men who were never has an opportunity to bully any other human being again. No one should ever feel
supportive and vocal about women’s rights. they have to do anything for fear of losing their job and not being able to feed their baby or
Today, we men (those who are active supporters of put a roof over their heads. I believe if a person in power does this then they deserve to be
women’s rights and the right not to be harassed) want to punished to the full extent of the law. All I am saying is, words may be misspoken, a friendly
be recognized in the fight. We all benefit from the alliance. hug misunderstood, but when threats are made or implied the gloves come off and look out
There is a place here for our voices. It’s not about ego or whoever you are because you will get taken down.
male braggadocio, our numbers are significant, and we As for the many good men out there, we know who you are! We have married you; we
believe that by being seen and heard, other men might are dating you, you are our brothers, our fathers, our fiancé, and our friends. We thank you
recognize they need to fix their problem. But, too many of for standing up for us and being there for us when we need you. We will not group you in
us don’t want to speak too loudly because no matter what with the despicable men who have been exposed for what they truly are, which is not men,
we say, we’ll be chastised for making the issue about us. It’s they are arrogant bullies who believe because they have money and power that they can get
not, and we know it. away with anything, but guess what? They can’t.

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