Page 178 - my SUCCESS! my CHOICE

Deepak Gupta my SUCCESS! my CHOICE
- 177 -

“Excellent Dan. I understand the dilemma. It is not easy to separate want from need for

something that is so personal like promotion. Your thought of ‘being valued’ as the need,

seems quite plausible. The important question, however, is why would you like to be valued?

In other words, is being valued also a want and the need something different?

Dan was stumped, again. ‘why did I so desperately want to get promoted? Why was I unhappy when I

got bypassed multiple times by my peers and juniors? Did I want to get promoted to show others my worth?

Was it for my ego satisfaction? What was the real need? If being valued is a want, what need is driving it?’

Confusion and frustration had started to show on his face.

‘How can I not know why I want to get promoted, something that I have wanted for so many years and

have agonized over for hours at end?’

Realizing his predicament, Ron asked, “do you want to talk this through Dan?”

“Ron I never realized that this will be such a difficult question.” Said Dan almost

apologetically.

“You are no exception Dan. Most of us are in the same boat. We desperately want

something without knowing ‘the why’ – the need. And in the process, we start to behave and

act in a manner that takes us away from the very need.

“The more I think Ron, it seems to me that I wanted to get promoted because that is the

current yardstick of success. My need was to demonstrate that I am successful.”

“Good. We are making progress. Let us assume the need is demonstration of success. To

whom Dan?” Ron asked gently.