Page 319 - Orwell, George - Nineteen eighty-four -bilingüe [pdf]

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ever done when they were together and free. Also querido más que nunca. Además, sabía que se
he knew that somewhere or other she was still encontraba viva y necesitaba de su ayuda.
alive and needed his help.

He lay back on the bed and tried to compose Se tumbó en la cama y trató de tranquilizarse.
himself. What had he done? How many years had ¿Qué había hecho? ¿Cuántos años de
he added to his servitude by that moment of servidumbre se había echado encima por
weakness? aquel momento de debilidad?

In another moment he would hear the tramp of Al cabo de unos instantes oiría los pasos de
boots outside. They could not let such an outburst las botas. Era imposible que dejaran sin
go unpunished. They would know now, if they had castigar aquel estallido. Ahora sabrían, si no
not known before, that he was breaking the lo sabían ya antes, que él había roto el
agreement he had made with them. He obeyed the convenio tácito que tenía con ellos. Obedecía
Party, but he still hated the Party. In the old days al Partido, pero seguía odiándolo. Antes
he had hidden a heretical mind beneath an ocultaba un espíritu herético bajo una
appearance of conformity. Now he had retreated a apariencia conformista. Ahora había
step further: in the mind he had surrendered, but retrocedido otro paso: en su espíritu se había
he had hoped to keep the inner heart inviolate. He rendido, pero con la esperanza de mantener
knew that he was in the wrong, but he preferred to inviolable lo esencial de su corazón, Winston
be in the wrong. They would understand that— sabía que estaba equivocado, pero prefería
O’Brien would understand it. It was all confessed que su error hubiera salido a la superficie de
in that single foolish cry. un modo tan evidente. O'Brien lo
comprendería. Aquellas estúpidas
exclamaciones habían sido una excelente
confesión.

He would have to start all over again. It might take Tendría que empezar de nuevo. Aquello iba a
years. He ran a hand over his face, trying to durar años y años. Se pasó una mano por la
familiarize himself with the new shape. There cara procurando familiarizarse con su nueva
were deep furrows in the cheeks, the cheekbones forma. Tenía profundas arrugas en las
felt sharp, the nose flattened. Besides, since last mejillas, los pómulos angulosos y la nariz
seeing himself in the glass he had been given a aplastada. Además, desde la última vez en que
complete new set of teeth. It was not easy to se vio en el espejo tenía una dentadura postiza
preserve inscrutability when you did not know completa. No era fácil conservar la
what your face looked like. In any case, mere inescrutabilidad cuando no se sabía la cara
control of the features was not enough. For the que tenía uno. En todo caso no bastaba el
first time he perceived that if you want to keep a control de las facciones. Por primera vez se
secret you must also hide it from yourself. You dio cuenta de que la mejor manera de ocultar
must know all the while that it is there, but until it un secreto es ante todo ocultárselo a uno
is needed you must never let it emerge into your mismo. De entonces en adelante no sólo debía
consciousness in any shape that could be given a pensar rectamente, sino sentir y hasta soñar
name. From now onwards he must not only think con rectitud, y todo el tiempo debería encerrar
right; he must feel right, dream right. And all the su odio en su interior como una especie de
while he must keep his hatred locked up inside pelota que formaba parte de sí mismo y que
him like a ball of matter which was part of himself sin embargo estuviera desconectada del resto
and yet unconnected with the rest of him, a kind of de su persona; algo así como un quiste.
cyst.