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ACT FOUR

Scene 1: Room 1, W.H.I.S. — later, the same day. The room is peopled
by the French class; less non-participants in Maths. II; plus Mrs. G. who
begins to write on the board, as the curtain rises.
Enter ROSS (ambling) — our hintellectual ’obo who breeds fruit-flies under
his desk—spends the rest of his time correcting text books.
ROSS (aside): “Look on my teacher’s writing, and despair.’
Enter BERT the flirt — He has quite a following.
Enter JOHN L. — Has bomb — can’t travel — and eats all day except
dinner time; followed by
JON K. — The shiek of Cleveland Creek.
Next, enter VIDIE, who sits down.
Just as he does so, Mrs. G turns round and catches sight of him. She sits
down to await the inevitable. Sure enough :—
VIDIE: “I can’t see why you have to do it that way. Mrs. G.”
(Aside): “I’m always the vanquished in Maths II debates.”
Scene 2: Still room 1, W.H.I.S.
Enter ROBERT —
ROBERT: “I used to be a good footballer
Till full-back pushed my centre forward.”
Followed by KEITH — he maintains a chalky atmosphere in room 1.
ALL (to Keith): “Eat more porridge, and you’ll get big."
CHRISTINE: “Aah . . . tish . . . ooooh I”
(Keith’s chalky entrance starts to have its effects, and the life of yet another
window is endangered.)
Enter DAVID — the bad bard of 6th Form.
DAVID (aside): “Called xxxx by some. Bulimba by others, but the fact
remains, I’m BEERE.”
An Echoing Shout: FOUR !
Enter PETER D. —His main claim to fame is the golf game — drives
many teachers, as well as balls, to the bunkers.
Enter TERRY—the problem of a “certain” French teacher.
Scene 3: The same.
Enter ROGER — walking (?) ambling (?)... appearing !
ROGER: “It irks me to be here — I cannot rest.”
N.B. his lean and hungry look (Well. Cassius was famous, why not Roger?)
Last but not least.
Enter STUART — our unfathomable.
STUART (aside): “I don’t believe in lettin? my responsibilities get me down."
(To Mrs. G.): “Good afternoon. Mrs. G.”
MRS. G. (in desperation): “Honestly, sometimes I think you people . . . !”
ACT FIVE
Scene 1: Room 1, W.H.I.S. — 2.59 p.m.
A DISTANT (but. oh, so euphoneous) SOUND: “Ting-a-ling-a-ling . .
ALL EXEUNT
— CUR T AIN —

ODE TO CADETS - -
C is for cadets who are so keen
A is for action — brisk, sharp and clean.
D is for discipline of which we are aware.
E is for exactness which must always be there.
T is for training and tramping like mad.
S is for shooting at which we aren't bad.
C. Thomas Barker (3A3).

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