Page 113 - Excerpt_WillTheRealChristiansStandUp

Will the Real Christians Stand Up

“I would ask my husband to step out and get me some
ice chips. When he would leave, I would devour an entire big

bag of salt and vinegar chips.”
Everyone continued to laugh.
“When he returned with my ice chips, he would ask,
‘why does it smell like salt and vinegar chips in here?’I would

say, ‘Babe, I was just thinking the same thing.’ Then he said,
‘I’m going to get the nurse to get the sour smell out of here.’
I would say that’s okay, Sweetie, I can deal with it. ‘Are you
sure he would ask?’ Positive, I would reply. This went on for a
while. As soon as he would get comfortable and the hunger
returned again, I would send him on another mission for more

ice chips. ‘Sweetie, again,’ he would reply after the fifth or
sixth time. ‘This time it smells like a pickle,’ my husband said.”
Everyone laughed.
“My husband would get comfortable again, and the
hunger would come back. ‘Sweetie,’ I would say. ‘Babe,

what is it now,’ he would ask. ‘I tell you what, I’m going to get
you a pitcher filled with ice chips. That way, I can get some
sleep.’ Now cornered, I had to become a master at sneaking
into my purse. So, I waited a while for my husband to doze off.
After thinking that he was in a deep sleep, I sneaked into my
purse and grabbed a big bag of twisters, but the plastic was

so loud.”
“’What’s that noise?’ my husband asked. Just looking for
something in my purse.” Everyone laughed. “He said, ‘Sweet-
ie, can you please hurry it up? I’ve been up since yesterday.’
I grabbed a handful and put my purse back in the cabinet.

Those twisters helped me for a while, but then I started craving
the caramel popcorn that I had in my purse, and I would have
to make more noise to get them. So, I fought and fought the
temptation. My husband had worked a 10-hour shift, and as
soon as we went to bed that night, my water broke. So, I knew

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